Summary:
Now living in Missoula, Montana with Christopher, Susana is married. Together they eloped and this infuriated her mother. She said Sue knew how much Penelope (sister) wanted to be her bridesmaid. Sue and Christopher were careful. They adapted to the pause in their lovemaking for birth control but shockingly a pregnancy test came back positive. What would she do? She'd never had the responsibilty of taking care of herself, and now she could possibly be held responsible for another's life. Her mom had two children and five miscarriages which was a guide to expect the same thing to happen to her. They had three days to decide whether they wanted to keep the child or move forward with the abortion because adoption wasn't an option for them. In the end they decided to go forward with the abortion. Susana was upset with Christopher because it wasn't as difficult for him seeing that he didn't have to go through the whole process like her. Once again Sue became pregnanat but this time Christopher was ready to be a father. She'd began a post-abortion support group at Planned Parenthood. A couple months later she gave birth to a baby boy, Daniel. About two years later she gave birth to Jack. Towards the end of the book she goes through some things her mother gave her and read them. She called some of the men that her mother messed with. She asked Martin, a boy that told her that he had sex with her mother when they were suppose to be out buying champagne. He told her that wasn't true, that her mother just told him to tell her that. She then reflected on how she didn't go to her mother's bedside. Sue's mom was no longer sick and she went back to Barbados. Her and Penelope hasn't talked since the day she told her she wasn't going but met with each other after she came back. They argued and wasn't able to solve anything so Sue just left. She visited her father and the next day she flew back home to be with her family.
Quote:
"We liked to do things this way: pushed into some hole of privacy and hard sorrow, we could emerge with a decision, a start at something better.When Christopher's father fell from the tree he was pruning and severly injured his head, we returned from the solemn hostpital vigil and decided to move in together. When he took a turn for the worse, we got the dog. We were drifting off from others, using our discrete griefs to build our life together. You could trust sorrow, straightforward and undiluted, and people left you alone. To us it was love."
Reflection:
I'm not even sure I'm able to describe how much that quote stood out to me when I was reading. To be honest, I was beginning to fall asleep when I was reading but when I caught that quote I gave this book my undivided attention. If I were to handle situations this way, how would my life be? Would my attention even be taken away from any grievances I've faced growing up. That could be the start of a healthy relationship in my opinion because when you let grieve get the best of you, it brings you down and makes it hard for you to build. I'm starting to become a firm believer that you are able to trust sorrow after hearing it be put that way. This should be something everyone considers when going through sorrowful situation.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Her Last Death: (pages. 120-200)
Summary:
Susana is now involved in an affair with her English teacher, Dr. Crawford but he allowed her to call him Wyatt. She lost her virginity to him and they occasionally had sexual encounters when his wife wasn't home. He told her to promise that she would keep their relationship a secret. If she told this would result in him losing his job which was why she didn't tell anyone although she was dying to tell anyone. Susy’s mom wanted to take her on a trip to Mexico, just the two of them. Everything was going smooth until her mother took a comment she made the wrong way. “When you were in Payne Whitney he gave me a book about- What does that mean? What the **** does that mean?” I’m not entirely sure what upset her mom about this but she kicked her out the hotel room for a little while where she wondered alone and met a man. He tried his best to convince her to have sex but she refused. After some time passed, he himself decided to tell his wife what had been going on. She explained to him that she would allow it to continue so they no longer needed to cover up anything. Susy was unaware of how she should act around Mrs. Crawford and how uncomfortable the vibe may be. Her first year in college she began to drift away from Wyatt and began a new relationship with a boy named Jason. He told her she’d “jeopardized his marriage for selfish wishes and her craven need to feel special” until she stopped answering his phone calls. Susana formed relationships with numerous men. She went from Jason to Noah to Gordon to Christopher. Jason just wasn’t meeting her standards, Noah had a gambling issue, and Gordon left her for Holly, the girl that would often show up to their parties. She’d struggled to get over him which stopped once she met Christopher. She just didn’t know how she would get him to agree upon sleeping with her. She needed it and it bothered her that he wouldn’t cooperate. Eventually she got what she wanted. Her need for sex became out of control and she started doing it with everyone, literally.
Quote:
Susana is now involved in an affair with her English teacher, Dr. Crawford but he allowed her to call him Wyatt. She lost her virginity to him and they occasionally had sexual encounters when his wife wasn't home. He told her to promise that she would keep their relationship a secret. If she told this would result in him losing his job which was why she didn't tell anyone although she was dying to tell anyone. Susy’s mom wanted to take her on a trip to Mexico, just the two of them. Everything was going smooth until her mother took a comment she made the wrong way. “When you were in Payne Whitney he gave me a book about- What does that mean? What the **** does that mean?” I’m not entirely sure what upset her mom about this but she kicked her out the hotel room for a little while where she wondered alone and met a man. He tried his best to convince her to have sex but she refused. After some time passed, he himself decided to tell his wife what had been going on. She explained to him that she would allow it to continue so they no longer needed to cover up anything. Susy was unaware of how she should act around Mrs. Crawford and how uncomfortable the vibe may be. Her first year in college she began to drift away from Wyatt and began a new relationship with a boy named Jason. He told her she’d “jeopardized his marriage for selfish wishes and her craven need to feel special” until she stopped answering his phone calls. Susana formed relationships with numerous men. She went from Jason to Noah to Gordon to Christopher. Jason just wasn’t meeting her standards, Noah had a gambling issue, and Gordon left her for Holly, the girl that would often show up to their parties. She’d struggled to get over him which stopped once she met Christopher. She just didn’t know how she would get him to agree upon sleeping with her. She needed it and it bothered her that he wouldn’t cooperate. Eventually she got what she wanted. Her need for sex became out of control and she started doing it with everyone, literally.
Quote:
“Sorry, I said. I should walk you down, he said. Otherwise people will think I’ve paid for you. But I don’t look like a hooker. It doesn’t matter what you look like. But whom you are with.”
Reflection:
I read this quote and I was beyond confuse but could somewhat pick up on what the man was trying to explain to Sue. I didn’t understand what the difference would be between him walking her down and her going alone. What would make people think that he paid her if she was by herself? What made him different from other men that were in Mexico? It gave me a small idea of how people there think when they see situations like that take place although she didn’t fit the image of a hooker. When he was trying to have sex with her but she told him no I saw the Susy I saw in the beginning of the book come out but this made me wonder how she could have become obsessed with sex later on in the reading. I don’t understand a lot of the things that occur in this book but I read it because if I understand everything I would take less interest in it.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Her Last Death (pages. 80-120)
Summary:
During the course of this reading, Susy has become a spinning image of her mother minus a few things. At the age of fourteen she has graduated from middle school and is starting the ninth grade at a boarding school. It's difficult for her to adjust and she explains how she misses home. When she talked to her mom, it was brought to her attention that the seventeen year old boy she once had a crush on was now in relationship with her mother and has lost his virginity to her. Previously before this, her mother was in a relationship with one of friend's brother, Paul who was nineteen. Surpisingly, Sue told her new friend Katy that her mother had slept with her boyfriend and they hadn't even broken up yet. While she is there, she experiences her first kiss with a senior by the name of Larry. This is something she made sure occurred everyday that is until he broke up with her. Aside from the break up, she still felt as if she could kiss anyone after doing it with him. After hearing so much about boys from Sue, Katy explains to her that she has become boy crazy which offends her. She felt as though her friend didn't understand her feelings because she never had any experience which is what she needed in Sue's opinion. She fell for a boy by the name of Hammond and one day he tried to force himself on her. This didn't really take a toll on Sue the way it would a normal girl. She just found it as a joke but still she informed the school and teachers and he didn't care. She felt cold and alone which is why she left, aside from the fact that she needed to be with her sister after her mom injected herself with cocaine in her thigh. Sue was immune to all of this which surpised her English teacher after she had written about it. She'd be going to a new school in Colorado after her sixteenth birthday which eventually came around. For her birthday, she, her sister, and mom had gone out to a bar where she'd been told that a boy she was interested in named Theo fancied her. She was given three presents on her birthday. A pen, blank diary, and her own gram of coke which she and her mom sniffed together. Her mother promised her that she'd get him to come over for a drink only to later hear them in her mother's room having sex. She told her she did it because she didn't seem to take much interest in him which was true so it didn't bother Sue much. After being in school for some time, Sue began to crush on her English teacher, Dr. Crawford but was turned down. She became fairly close to losing her virginity to Lincoln which became a whole new lie for her to go by.
Quote:
"I missed home, my mother's rumpled bed, Penelope's James Taylor music, which I didn't even like. I missed being me."
Reflection:
This quote somewhat demonstrates a "Bildungsroman" because Sue is moved out her comfort zone and she doesn't act like herself in order to fit in with the other people at her school. She knows that what Hammond did to her was wrong which is why she told but she didn't take it as serious as it should've been. I'm not sure whether I could consider her to be accepted by others in her school or not. I've noticed that the author involes alot of dialect throughout the book and entrys in Sue's diary which helped me to see how she was actually turning into her mother. The way she would act and the things she would write made me think of her mother when reading it. The things she looked down on her mother for, she began to do herself which I found suprising yet interesting at the same time.
During the course of this reading, Susy has become a spinning image of her mother minus a few things. At the age of fourteen she has graduated from middle school and is starting the ninth grade at a boarding school. It's difficult for her to adjust and she explains how she misses home. When she talked to her mom, it was brought to her attention that the seventeen year old boy she once had a crush on was now in relationship with her mother and has lost his virginity to her. Previously before this, her mother was in a relationship with one of friend's brother, Paul who was nineteen. Surpisingly, Sue told her new friend Katy that her mother had slept with her boyfriend and they hadn't even broken up yet. While she is there, she experiences her first kiss with a senior by the name of Larry. This is something she made sure occurred everyday that is until he broke up with her. Aside from the break up, she still felt as if she could kiss anyone after doing it with him. After hearing so much about boys from Sue, Katy explains to her that she has become boy crazy which offends her. She felt as though her friend didn't understand her feelings because she never had any experience which is what she needed in Sue's opinion. She fell for a boy by the name of Hammond and one day he tried to force himself on her. This didn't really take a toll on Sue the way it would a normal girl. She just found it as a joke but still she informed the school and teachers and he didn't care. She felt cold and alone which is why she left, aside from the fact that she needed to be with her sister after her mom injected herself with cocaine in her thigh. Sue was immune to all of this which surpised her English teacher after she had written about it. She'd be going to a new school in Colorado after her sixteenth birthday which eventually came around. For her birthday, she, her sister, and mom had gone out to a bar where she'd been told that a boy she was interested in named Theo fancied her. She was given three presents on her birthday. A pen, blank diary, and her own gram of coke which she and her mom sniffed together. Her mother promised her that she'd get him to come over for a drink only to later hear them in her mother's room having sex. She told her she did it because she didn't seem to take much interest in him which was true so it didn't bother Sue much. After being in school for some time, Sue began to crush on her English teacher, Dr. Crawford but was turned down. She became fairly close to losing her virginity to Lincoln which became a whole new lie for her to go by.
Quote:
"I missed home, my mother's rumpled bed, Penelope's James Taylor music, which I didn't even like. I missed being me."
Reflection:
This quote somewhat demonstrates a "Bildungsroman" because Sue is moved out her comfort zone and she doesn't act like herself in order to fit in with the other people at her school. She knows that what Hammond did to her was wrong which is why she told but she didn't take it as serious as it should've been. I'm not sure whether I could consider her to be accepted by others in her school or not. I've noticed that the author involes alot of dialect throughout the book and entrys in Sue's diary which helped me to see how she was actually turning into her mother. The way she would act and the things she would write made me think of her mother when reading it. The things she looked down on her mother for, she began to do herself which I found suprising yet interesting at the same time.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Her Last Death (pages 40-80)
Summary:
Since I've last read, Susana has continued to recap on her childhood. She begins by explaining the life of her mother growing up and gives a brief description of her grandfather’s background. She and her sister accompanied her mother to brunch one day. Her mother mentioned that this was an unforgettable lunch although they questioned why. A good portion of the reading I did discussed the back surgeries her mother went through and how this caused her to have spasms occasionally. She was put into a rehab and then put into aNew York Hospital
Quote:
"After great pain, a formal feeling comes," (Sonnenbrg 74)
Reflection:
Alot of the things that have occurrd in the story are fairly confusing to me. The way her mother reacts to certain situations makes me question does she really care about Susanna. The author gives great detail when describing something which helps me to understand better although at times I'm still left confused. I feel like this is a quotation to understand because the mother was describing it referring to her daughter's pain but it has many meanings to it.
Since I've last read, Susana has continued to recap on her childhood. She begins by explaining the life of her mother growing up and gives a brief description of her grandfather’s background. She and her sister accompanied her mother to brunch one day. Her mother mentioned that this was an unforgettable lunch although they questioned why. A good portion of the reading I did discussed the back surgeries her mother went through and how this caused her to have spasms occasionally. She was put into a rehab and then put into a
Quote:
"After great pain, a formal feeling comes," (Sonnenbrg 74)
Reflection:
Alot of the things that have occurrd in the story are fairly confusing to me. The way her mother reacts to certain situations makes me question does she really care about Susanna. The author gives great detail when describing something which helps me to understand better although at times I'm still left confused. I feel like this is a quotation to understand because the mother was describing it referring to her daughter's pain but it has many meanings to it.
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